Thursday, 17 May 2012

Recipe for perfect parenting

All (sane) parents wish the best for their children, so here is a fool-proof recipe for perfect parenting, based on years of experience. I hope you will find it useful.
Take as many parenting tips as your brain can hold. Take some more, don't underestimate your capacities. Start early, from first weeks of pregnancy. Read weekly updates on how your baby is developing in the womb. So far so good, you can't intentionally go wrong on this stage.
Now baby is born. Make sure you read even more parenting advices on every occurring tiny and big problem like diaper rash, correct burping, bonding, teething, bathing, communicating. For more effect google your question and get the shock of discovering that it could go even worse, that there are moms out there in cyberspace who have it much much worse. Linger on this soothing idea, but not too long. Duty calls, back to work. Take notes of advices you find on anything you can grasp with one hand, while safely holding baby with the other. You got the idea. Now add some more information on top, from your mom, aunt, pediatrician. Don't be shy, a bit more. That will do. Your barrel of knowledge must be full by now, maybe overflowing. Don't worry, you're not alone.
And now we've come to the most important phase. Take all those notes you've collected for months and even years...and let your family pet chew on them. When that's done and over, take the remaining shreds and put into a blender, add some PVC glue and mix well. Pour the result into the mould that your child was made in and keep your fingers crossed for the rest of your life hoping that it will suffice.
The truth is that nothing you can read, watch and hear will help you when stuff actually happens. And stuff  does happen when you have a child! Forget all of the above and just follow your instinct. No mom blogger, pediatrician, aunt or anyone on this planet knows your child the way you do. Follow your guts, they don't lie. There are no perfect parents, but each and every (sane) parent is the best parent for their own child. You are the best. Now relax for 3.32 minutes and listen to some magnificent Bach.


  1. Funny! And very true. I wish I didn't listen to some AWFUL pieces of advice I had been given by some people. I regretted following their way every day thereafter.