Monday, 30 January 2012

To be or not to be (effortless), that is the question

What would you call a definite sign of professionalism and highly developed skills? The first thing I can think of is effortlessness. It all looks so easy and simple when professionals do their job. Which one of us hasn't watched a pirouetting ballerina or an Olympic gymnast and thought to himself or herself - that's a piece of cake, tomorrow I'll sign up for dance classes or gym and in no time I'll impress them all, you just wait and see. Unfortunately, that's not how it works. The easier it looks, the more work and effort people have put into it. Which pieces of music leave us breathless? Which books make us  burn with curiosity how it all concludes even though we wish we could stay in them forever? Which performances will not only attract the eye, but also the heart? The suffered ones. Those and only those where person has invested his or her time and efforts on building, growing.
Then again, all that glitters is not gold. Sometimes effortlessness is just that - effortlessness. When people choose wrong job out of desperation you get all those teachers who hate children, rude and tactless call centre employees, craftsmen with two left hands and dancers with two left feet. This is why the world is so out of balance, full of misplaced effortless people.
To be or to pretend to be effortless, that is the question.

Sunday, 29 January 2012

Three mornings older

Last night I was woken up three times. The first time by a loud noise of incoming SMS on my husband's mobile phone. When asked why he doesn't switch it off for night, he answered: "You never know, when somebody might call for emergency". I start to suspect I'm married to a secret agent or superhero in disguise. The second time I was woken 6.30 AM by alarm clock of my husband (bless him) even though it's Sunday... And then just a quarter of hour later my son wet his pants and had to be changed. Of course there was no need for a fourth wake-up call, I couldn't go to sleep after that. Technically I've had three mornings in one and I must admit I do feel at least three days (more like three decades) older today, barely staying awake.

Thursday, 26 January 2012

My perpetuum mobile

Last night a sudden revelation struck me just when I was about to fall asleep. A strange moment for revelations, you might say, nevertheless it happened. I've been thinking a lot in past about what is that magic energy that makes people get up in the morning when they'd rather stay under warm covers, what makes us go to work, do homework, wash dishes, do utterly boring things, which we'd rather avoid. What really makes the world go round and makes us hope against hope, that in the end everything will turn out right? And yesterday it hit me. It's not money, as they sing in that famous song. It's not even love, though I believe love is the mightiest power that exists. And it's not hope, as most of us believe, for hope is more like a condition than energy. The thing that pushes us forward through day is...curiosity! Unless we are so depressed that nothing in this world can interest us enough to keep us up, and believe me, I know what I'm talking about, been there myself, we get up in the morning because somewhere under the layers of adult worries and duties there is that little child still excited about what the new day might bring. We secretly expect surprises, good surprises of course, even though we'll never admit it even to ourselves. Stay curious about what life might bring, expect good surprises, my friends! It's the only free medicine against routine and dullness!

Wednesday, 25 January 2012

independence day of my three year old

Sometimes I wish children came with those anti-theft gadgets or microchips to be traced when they decide they're old enough to take a free stroll into the wild. Today my three year old son scared living daylight out of me by disappearing into the vast garden and kept quiet while I was searching for him and shouting myself hoarse. Then ten minutes later, hysteric and voiceless, I found him sitting on a wall in the far end of the garden, hidden by high plants in the vegetable patch, just waiting for me to come nearer, his arms neatly folded in his lap. I asked why on earth he didn't come when I called him, and he said he didn't want to. As simple as that.  

Ignorance is bliss!

Approximately two years ago I took a decision to ignore all TV news broadcasts and most newspaper articles (I've been guilty a couple of times of breaking the rule and paid a high price for that). I still catch the gist of it and I know along which lines the world runs, yet there is no more mass media manipulation, induced fear and paranoia in my life.  Based on my experience so far I can assure you that moderate, controlled ignorance is absolute bliss!

photographer's tough luck

Today I tried to take a snapshot of identical triplet boys on a street, but they were moving, almost swirling, so quickly that after several shots I noticed that one of them was always out of view, either behind a brother or a tree or the father. I gave up. No point photographing triplets that look like normal twins!

Friend or fiend?

A couple of days ago it dawned on me that I've lost a close friend. No, not in the irreversible sense of the word, she's still live and kicking, somewhere. I didn't see it coming. It hit me like a wet slap across the face.
The older you get the more that childish trust in people fades, it gets tougher to trust them, to let them too close. A defence mechanism. Yet my curiosity and interest overcame this mechanism, I had found a person who was as eager to have endless talks, sharing ideas and secrets again, like a child. Long story short, the scales fell off my eyes when I got to know that she's not too busy with her work, she's just too busy for me. It's like being in high school all over again - trusting a friend with a secret and then watching her turn her back on you and joining somebody else's gang. Nothing big has happened, no visible damage, and yet it's rather unnerving how easily relationships change. Ironically, I can vividly imagine what this friend's reaction would be if she recognised herself in this post. She probably knew it all along, no loss for her, she wasn't going as deep emotionally as I was. How do you grieve the loss of a friend when they're not lost? It's just so pathetic. It's easier to leave than to be left behind.