Only a man can offend you and then get offended by you being offended by what he just did. My husband has polished this art to perfection...
Kids asked him to put forward the recorded film so they wouldn't have to watch commercials. The remote control was on the table right in front of him. His reaction? Repeated yells about them needing to learn patience and waiting till he finishes to type in his game chat... How ridiculous is that? At that moment I happened to be passing by and put the film forward, saying there is no need to wait till after the commercials only to put the film forward when it doesn't need forwarding any longer. Another "rational" reaction from the other adult of our family? Rage and fury about me not covering his back. Really??? Do we live in the same reality and participate in the same events? More than that, he said that from now on he will not cover my back either. Ha!
Other pearls from life and works of my significant other? Once he grabbed a dirty spoon from the sink and ate something with it tasting the food along with the soap in which spoon was soaking. FYI, utensil drawer is right next to the sink. Let's see if you can guess whose fault it was? Nope, not his. As if it's normal to keep clean and ready for use spoons in sink among dirty dishes.
Another time he made me lose my sleep after he stormed into bedroom and accused me of being careless and not charging the battery of electric toothbrush (which was still charged and worked just fine when I brushed my teeth an hour prior to that). These are just some of his latest outbursts.
Why is he still with me if I'm pissing him off so easily sometimes? Because a man needs someone at hand who could be blamed for the vast range of small misfortunes that fall upon him.
Why am I still here beside him, you might ask? Because often I feel like I've won him in lottery, and you do not just throw away your winnings, even if it's just a green sponge in shape of an elephant!!!