People who don't love children are very much like atheists. You can't really, deeply love someone whose goodness, awesomeness, uniqueness you haven't experienced. Just a wish or decision won't do the trick. You can't decide to love. This feeling is as instinctive and untamed as a wild deer. Those, who haven't held their newborn baby in their arms observing the slightest details of the tiny hands or counted their breaths while they sleep as deeply and sweetly as only babies can, will never understand it to that depth. People generally love children because they are funny, just like kittens and puppies, silly, amusing. But only when you are a parent your first and strongest instinct, fed on burning love, is to protect your children, to give them all the best of this world.
Today I took my three year old son out of a private kindergarten where, regardless two teachers per a dozen children, his face has been deeply scratched from eye to chin twice in last three weeks. To say that I felt my trust betrayed or that I was angry is to say nothing. Something broke in me. I was so furious I could barely keep my eyes dry. What was even more painful was the fact that teacher tried to blame it on my son, one of those electric kids who never seem to gain peace of mind except in their deep sleep. He had already been hurt twice in that place and yet it's somehow his fault. Not the two teachers' fault who should be "older and wiser" than the three-to-five-year-olds whom they're teaching, the teachers who should prevent fights, not the boys who did the actual damage on my child's face. No no, it's him, because he can be provocative when he's bored and snappy if he's pushed around by others. Yet again today I faced the fact that private school is not necessarily a synonym of higher quality or security. Ironically, in our case it was obviously quite the opposite. A teacher who doesn't recognise the first signs of a brewing quarrel and just lets those kids explode into each others faces is no better than any stranger taken from the street. A person who doesn't recognise the signs of wildfire shouldn't be firefighter, should he? Then why take school system down to the level where they don't bother to give teachers basic pedopsychology course before employing them? Moreover they employ young teachers who are not parents themselves and have no personal experience or parental instincts. I felt crushed today. I hate to discover that people can't take good care of my child even if I pay them good money.