It dawned on me that I am insecure. It was a big surprise, because I've always thought of myself as sturdy, eloquent, amusing, full of energy and ideas. That is until I started noticing the break-downs in this system. Now I'm not sure what I am anymore. I'm going through a second adolescence. What I'm hoping for is that just as after the first, physical, adolescence I will come out stronger, more balanced, with clearer views on what I really am and can.
I believe that success in any field of life is mostly determined by fighting your own insecurities. I know endless examples of remarkable people, full of brilliant ideas, who just don't believe in themselves. They sit around and do nothing with their inner treasures. They don't believe anyone wants to see what they have to give, convinced that nobody really cares if they do something with it or not. If they dare to show their works to public, oftentimes the reaction is not inspiring to continue sharing the ideas. Mostly it's apathy, now and again it's something worse. Partially it's the fault of the modern competitive society that often ridicules any signs of talent out of their own (alas!) insecurities.
Recently I found out a shocking fact - about 80% of all people say their secret ambition is to be a writer, just like me. Per se it's not shocking, writing is one of the most accessible and entertaining forms of self expression. But if you just think how few of these people pursue their goal and how very few of those who do pursue their dream actually succeed at it... Yeah, that's shocking alright. And it gives me another ground for insecurity. Am I any different from all aspiring writers who never actually published any of their works? Do I have that mysterious ingredient in me, that will help me break through where others have stopped dead? What does it take to push aside insecurities and succeed? A close friend of mine suggested making a list of my strengths. So maybe I'll do that. How do you fight your insecurities?
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